Friends and Family
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If you want to know about activities families typically engage in together online
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If you are worried about a peer group's activities online affecting them in real life
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If you’re concerned about children and young people making friends with strangers online
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If you have any concerns about children or young people and online shopping
This category is quite large, so let’s narrow it down.
Is your concern about:
- Interacting with the digital world with family members (watching films, playing games etc)
- Interacting with peers through digital media (or people they believe are peers)
- Managing online behaviour (this could be how much they share online, spending money online or reporting content)
Watching films/TV with a family member
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Playing age-appropriate games with supervision
- Playing age restricted games with direct parental supervision
- Watching films/TV online alone
Related resources:
Supervised video calls with remote family members
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Ownership of their own devices
- Having their own private social media account
- Having a public social media account
Related resources:
Being aware of / being told there is adult content online
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Additional context: It is appropriate to tell younger children that there is adult content online that we do not want them to see because they may find it upsetting, as this will help explain why parental controls are being used. Children who mention this are not necessarily being exposed to adult content.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Talking about how they feel if they see something upsetting
- Watching adult content
- Accessing pornography as a one off
- Accidental access of sexual content
- Role playing or parroting adult content (eg sex / violence)
Related resources:
Interest / involvement in family social media eg looking at news feed or asking to see pictures
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Ownership of their own devices
- Having their own private social media account
- Having a public social media account
Related resources:
Repeated conflict about rules
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Upset or aggressive response to withdrawal of device (beyond what is normal for the child)
- Reaching for a device as soon as they wake up
- Knowing passwords to parental devices / bypassing parental controls
- Disrupted sleep from device dependence / gaming
- Prolonged period of upset or anger after gaming
- Compulsive use of social media including checking during the night
Related resources:
Behaviours from other categories you may wish to explore:
Group messaging and opting to leave or mute a group chat
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not applicable | Potentially Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Additional context: This is Potentially Harmful for 6-8-year-olds as this age group should not normally be accessing group chats unsupervised, but they may see or be shown messages in family group chats.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Sharing indecent or distressing images with peers
- Direct messaging friends on own or shared devices
- Anxiety around digital communications, including fear of missing out
- Feeling anxious because messages have not been answered
- Running snapchat streaks with friends
Related resources:
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 6: Online Relationships
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 7: Online Relationships
Showing someone distressing videos they don’t want to see
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Harmful | Harmful | Harmful |
Additional context: Children and young people we spoke to said some of their peers regularly share upsetting content. This ranged from animal abuse (which may be shared to raise awareness) to scary or violent content. Children who are sharing this content may need help to understand why it is not acceptable. If they continue to do it, sanctions may be required.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Sharing indecent or distressing images with peers
- Sharing images with peers with parent/guardian oversight
Related resources:
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 4: Online Bullying
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 7: Online Relationships
Meeting online friends unsupervised
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful |
Additional context: As young people get older, they may choose to meet up with friends they have met online. This is not necessarily harmful if they have taken precautions such as having a video call first, meeting in a public place, and taking a friend or parent.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Online dating with adults
- Online dating with peers
- Online dating with peers (whilst taking appropriate precautions)
Related resources:
Meeting online friends after video calls and taking appropriate precautions
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Not Harmful |
Additional context: As young people get older, they may choose to meet up with friends they have met online. This is not necessarily harmful if they have taken precautions such as having a video call first, meeting in a public place, and taking a friend or parent.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Online dating with adults
- Online dating with peers
- Online dating with peers (whilst taking appropriate precautions)
Related resources:
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 10: Online Relationships
- Podcast Episode 26 - Risk Tolerance vs Risk Aversion
- Podcast Episode 17 - Harm Reduction
Meeting online friends as part of a group
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful |
Additional context: As young people get older, they may choose to meet up with friends they have met online. This is not necessarily harmful if they have taken precautions such as having a video call first, meeting in a public place, and taking a friend or parent.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Online dating with adults
- Online dating with peers
- Online dating with peers (whilst taking appropriate precautions)
Related resources:
Meeting online friends with adult supervision (parent or carer)
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Additional context: If children make friends online and they live nearby, parents may decide to set up a playdate, but this should be organised in the same way as any playdate. For example, parents of both children should talk about the plans beforehand, arrange to meet in a public place and tell someone where they are going.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Online dating with adults
- Online dating with peers
- Online dating with peers (whilst taking appropriate precautions)
Related resources:
Sharing things seen online with friends in person
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Sharing indecent or distressing images with peers
- Sharing images with peers with parent/guardian oversight
- Direct messaging friends on own or shared devices
Related resources:
Ganging up on or isolating others online
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Direct messaging friends on own or shared devices
- Catfishing/direct messaging someone pretending to be someone else
- Not blocking someone who has bullied them online
Related resources:
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 3: Online Relationships
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 5: Online Bullying
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 7: Online Bullying
- Podcast Episode 16 - Bullying
Contact with strangers online
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful |
Additional context: Some multi-player games rely on players being able to talk to one another. This is not necessarily harmful, but parents/carers should be aware of the rules around contact, help the child or young person set boundaries and be open to talking about things if a young person is upset by something that is said to them online. They can help by supporting the young person to report or block people, rather than insisting they stop playing altogether.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Age-appropriate multiplayer online gaming
- Receiving gifts in online games from strangers (someone unknown to parents/carers)
- Online dating with adults
- Online dating with peers
- Online dating with peers (whilst taking appropriate precautions)
Related resources:
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 3: Online Relationships
- Podcast Episode 4 - Potentially Harmful Behaviours
Behaviours from other categories you may wish to explore:
- Unsupervised interaction with a device with parental controls for up to 10 minutes
- Contact with strangers online
Talking about how they feel if they see something upsetting
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Researching issues in an unsupported way eg self-harm, depression, eating disorders
- Guided research / learning
- Learning about online issues and discussing their opinions
- Repeating extremist views read about online
- Not being able to sleep after seeing scary or upsetting content online
Related resources:
Secretive use of online device
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not applicable | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Not Harmful |
Additional context: Secretive use could include a young person panicking if someone else comes near their device. This could be a sign that they are being harmed online. However, as young people get older, they are likely to expect higher levels of privacy. This should be respected, and young people should be offered the opportunity to talk openly about issues as they arise.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Reaching for a device as soon as they wake up
- Use of digital devices after bedtime
- Disrupted sleep from device dependence / gaming
- Compulsive use of social media including checking during the night
- Being secretive about direct messages
Related resources:
- Project Evolve lesson plan year 4: Health, Wellbeing and Lifestyle
- Podcast Episode 4 - Potentially Harmful Behaviours
- Podcast Episode 36 – Interview with Jen Persson about data and privacy
Mimicking online behaviour
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Not Harmful |
Additional context: Children may play-act things they see online. This is not concerning unless the content is inappropriate. Young people may mimic influencers. Again, this is only a problem if the content they are mimicking is inappropriate or dangerous.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Repeating extremist views read about online
- Role playing or parroting adult content (eg sex / violence)
- Having celebrity role models, aspiring to be like a celebrity
- Being obsessed with celebrities, wanting to be a specific celebrity
- Role playing age-appropriate characters
Related resources:
Excessively sharing personal information online
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not applicable | Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Ownership of their own devices
- Writing a blog
- Having a public social media account
- Having a YouTube channel
- Talking about high numbers of subscribers / followers on online cast social media channel (eg YouTube / Instagram)
- Actively promoting their social media to their peers
Related resources:
Watching adult content
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Not Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Being aware of / being told there is adult content online
- Accessing pornography as a one off
- Accidental access of sexual content
- Role playing or parroting adult content (eg sex / violence)
- Accessing illegal content
- Watching films/TV online alone
Related resources:
- Podcast for Parents – 0–5-year-olds
- Podcast Episode 25 - Talking Porn with Young People
- Podcast Episode 34 - Interview with Jonny Hunt about Sex Education in a Digital World
Online spending / shopping with own money
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Receiving gifts in online games from family members
- Receiving gifts in online games from strangers (someone unknown to parents/carers)
- Online gambling
- Playing ads for offer of rewards
- Selling nudes
- Becoming an influencer/brand ambassador
Related resources:
Online spending / shopping with parents/carer’s money without their knowledge
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Harmful | Harmful | Harmful |
Additional context: Parents may have left their card details saved on a device. This can lead to children and young people paying for in-app purchases without being aware this is taking real money. Parents should be careful not to save card details on shared devices.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Receiving gifts in online games from family members
- Receiving gifts in online games from strangers (someone unknown to parents/carers)
- Online gambling
- Playing ads for offer of rewards
- Selling nudes
- Becoming an influencer/brand ambassador
Asking for help to block or report something
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful | Not Harmful |
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Not blocking someone who has bullied them online
- Blocking and reporting someone for posting inappropriate content
Related resources:
Not reporting upsetting or harmful content
0-5 years | 6-8 years | 9-12 years | 13-15 years | 16-18 years |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harmful | Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful | Potentially Harmful |
Additional context: Children and young people may be cynical about the effectiveness of reporting content. However, it is an important process. It may be useful to explain that a single report may not result in content being removed, but the more people report something the more likely it is to be removed.
Related behaviours from other categories:
- Not blocking someone who has bullied them online
- Blocking and reporting someone for posting inappropriate content
Related resources: