Working to improve the social, emotional, mental health and wellbeing of children and young people in Cornwall
For professionals

Relationships and Sex

  • If you’re concerned about young people forming romantic relationships with people they’ve met online
  • If you’re worried about children or young people sending sexual messages to their peers
  • If you’re worried about children or young people watching pornography
  • If you want to know more about young people online dating
  • If you’re worried that a young person’s online behaviour with their romantic partner is coercive

This category is quite large, so let’s narrow it down.

Is your concern about:

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Sexual image sharing

Taking and sending / receiving nudes (sexual images) for any reason

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful

 

Additional context: Sending nudes is increasingly seen as a normal behaviour amongst young people. For those over 13 it is important that they know it is illegal to send nudes until they are 18, however it is also important to talk about other issues such as consent to share images, dealing with pressure and how to get images removed if they are non-consensually shared.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Accidentally receiving nudes

Sexualised posing online

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Potentially Harmful Not Harmful Not Harmful Not Harmful

 

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Sexual webcamming

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful

 

Related behaviours from other categories:

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Selling nudes

Retention of indecent images of peers

Forwarding nudes of other young people (including friends) without consent

Pressuring someone to send nudes

Sharing indecent or distressing images with peers

Pornography

Accessing the dark web to engage with services (such as buying drugs online or downloading extreme pornography)

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful

 

Additional context: ‘extreme’ pornography is illegal and includes sexual activities with children (under 18), sexual activities with animals, sexual interference with a corpse, activities which cause serious injury, non-consensual sexual activity.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Frequent access to pornography

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Harmful Potentially Harmful Not Harmful

 

Additional context: ‘Frequent’ is a subjective term. What seems like a lot to one person might not seem like much to someone else. Frequent access to pornography for teenagers may be more than their parents or carers would like, but if it is not getting in the way of other activities and it is legal, it is less likely to be harmful. However, it is important to have regular conversations with teenagers about pornography and ensure they are aware it is not an accurate depiction of sexual relationships.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Accessing pornography as a one off

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Not Harmful Not Harmful

 

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Watching violent / extreme pornography

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful

 

Additional context: ‘extreme’ pornography is illegal and includes sexual activities with children (under 18), sexual activities with animals, sexual interference with a corpse, activities which cause serious injury, non-consensual sexual activity.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Compulsive use of pornography

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful

 

Additional context: ‘Compulsive’ use of pornography means that the young person’s porn use is getting in the way of other activities such as seeing friends, completing school / homework. Sometimes, habits may seem to indicate compulsive behaviour, however a habit should be fairly easy to break if other engaging and interesting activities are offered instead. Compulsive porn use may require a referral to a specialist agency.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Excessive use of pornography

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Harmful Harmful Potentially Harmful

 

Additional context: ‘Excessive’ is a subjective term. To some people, and depending on the age of the child, any pornography use may be excessive. For older teenagers, excessive pornography use may represent a habit which could be broken if other interesting and engaging activities are offered instead. If this does not affect the quantity of pornography being used, it may represent a compulsive behaviour.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Finding out about sexual behaviours using pornography

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Harmful Potentially Harmful Not Harmful

 

Additional context: Whilst pornography isn’t the ideal place for young people to learn about sex, for many young people, sex education does not provide the information they need. This is especially true for sexually diverse young people, as sex education typically only focusses on straight (heterosexual) relationships. It may also be true for neurodivergent young people who may struggle to understand the meaning of euphemisms often used when we talk about sex.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Looking at images of different body types / genitals to understand the range of normal

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Potentially Harmful Not Harmful Not Harmful Not Harmful

 

Additional context: Whilst pornography isn’t the ideal place for young people to learn about sex, for many young people, sex education does not provide the information they need. This is especially true for sexually diverse young people, as sex education typically only focusses on straight (heterosexual) relationships. It may also be true for neurodivergent young people who may struggle to understand the meaning of euphemisms often used when we talk about sex.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Accidental access of sexual content

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Not Harmful Not Harmful

 

Additional context: This can happen for a range of reasons. Whilst it shouldn’t happen for the youngest children as they should predominantly be supervised whilst online, for older children and young people it is important to ensure it is contextualised. Children may have questions about sex if they see sexual content. These questions should be answered, and children and young people should not be made to feel ashamed for having seen sexual content. It is appropriate to explain that we do not want children to see this content as they may find it confusing or upsetting.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Role playing or parroting adult content (eg sex / violence)

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Potentially Harmful Not Harmful Not Harmful

 

Additional context: This can happen for a range of reasons. Whilst it shouldn’t happen for the youngest children as they should predominantly be supervised whilst online, for older children and young people it is important to ensure it is contextualised. Children may have questions about sex if they see sexual content. These questions should be answered, and children and young people should not be made to feel ashamed for having seen sexual content. It is appropriate to explain that we do not want children to see this content as they may find it confusing or upsetting.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

 

Online dating and digital relationships

Behaviours from other categories you may wish to explore

Setting up a fake social media account to explore gender identity or sexuality

Catfishing/direct messaging someone pretending to be someone else

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Not applicable Harmful Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful

 

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Coercive behaviour towards others using digital technology (tracking, accessing other people’s accounts)

Online dating with adults

Online dating with peers

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Not applicable Not applicable Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful

 

Additional context: For older teenagers, this is less likely to be harmful if they are talking to and dating people who are close to them in age (for example, a 17 year old dating an 18 year old). It is important to ensure they are aware of precautions they should take such as having a video call beforehand, taking a friend and meeting in a public place.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Online dating with peers (whilst taking appropriate precautions)

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Not applicable Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Not Harmful

 

Additional context: appropriate precautions may include having a video call first, meeting in a public place, and taking a friend or parent.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

Sexual or violent language

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Harmful Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful

 

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

 

Not blocking someone who has bullied them online

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful

 

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

 

Consensually tracking friends through location sharing

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Not Applicable Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful

 

Additional context: Young people may not view location sharing through apps like SnapMaps or FindMy as a form of tracking. It is important to talk to them about how tracking can be a sign of being in a controlling friendship or relationship. It is useful to talk about how they would feel if the person stopped sharing their location. Young people who are tracked by their parents may be less likely to see this as a controlling behaviour.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources:

 

 

Looking at partner’s phone with consent

0-5 years 6-8 years 9-12 years 13-15 years 16-18 years
Not Applicable Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful Potentially Harmful

 

Additional context: The young people we spoke to felt that this was acceptable, as long as it was consensual. However, it is useful to talk to young people about how asking to see someone’s phone may make them feel pressure to consent.

Related behaviours from other categories:

Related resources: